There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize