fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
