It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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