toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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