be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
