Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
