I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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