i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
