I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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