some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
