I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
