I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
