We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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