WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
