If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
