Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
