Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
