I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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