She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
