I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
