Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
