Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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