Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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