I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just high enough for therapy.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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