scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
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Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
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Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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