And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
