she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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