I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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