Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Come on in and take your pants off
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