WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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