ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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