I hate all girls vehemently.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
