Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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