Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
