Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
