she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He better not be in your backpack
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
