i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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