They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
