I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize