I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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