I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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