He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
