Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
