And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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