y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
