Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
