Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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