can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
