Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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