How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize