Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm at about main and main street
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
