Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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