The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I believe in your delicious
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
