Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
