We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
