I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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