I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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