all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
