I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
