Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
